The snow has melted, I now wake up to a sun already risen, and walk home with clear skies and light high above my head well into the evening…. I declare winter is over and spring is making it’s presence known. My neighbor has even decided to strip off the gloves, hat, scarf, and extra jacket as a protest to any winter that lingers behind… even when it’s still a tinge freezing outside.
Spring is an interesting time… it often signifies growth, change, new colors, transition, time to clean out the skeletons from your closet, the dust from under the couch – a fresh start. I generally find my transitions to be more aligned with autumn, but I guess I’m feeling it twice this year. BRING IT – I’m ready.
I know it will probably sound cliché, but I look at my last five months here and I’m slightly surprised by the realization of how much I’ve grown here (unfortunately, height is not one of the ways in which I’ve grown). One of the ways that is the most obvious to me is that I’m legitimately happier here. This can attributed to many things like not living with my parents (though I do love you Ima & Greggy), having financial stability, a solid group of friends who find traveling 2+ hours to meet up no big deal, a firm sense of independence, and feeling like I’m just absorbing every possible new experience and living in the moment.
However, these are circumstances that may change once I’m no longer here, and though I believe your environment can have an impact on your contentment and level of happiness, I think there is something much deeper that has taken place since I’ve started my journey in Korea. I used to fear that my “set point” for happiness was naturally set lower than the average person, it’s a relief to say I don’t believe that anymore.
One of the biggest strides I’ve made this last year is letting things go. I’m a sentimental gal, and I enjoy cherishing memories, holding onto connections that I feel are rare, and wanting to be on good terms with people. Sometimes you gotta cut your losses, enjoy memories for what they were in the moment and not what they can be in the future. When I’m worried, stressed, feel conflicted, upset, or any of those other unpleasant feelings that are often brought on by the actions (or inaction) of others I find it increasingly easier to let it go. I’m not into giving others the power to swing my moods. I can’t control you, only my reaction to you. I’m not sure when, how, or why this happened, but it feels great and it’s so freeing. I often feel like I’m in a movie, walking down the streets, wind blowing in my hair, and I just feel happy to be living in the moment. These are my moments, my life that I’ll only live once, and each moment that passes will never be returned to me, so why not enjoy it?